Pure

2nd Timothy 2:19-26
22Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
The key is the pure heart, isn't it? A pure heart can look different with each person who possesses it.
Some would think a meek person has a pure heart- but not always necessarily the truth- some are harboring the resentment inside.
I know when I think of someone with a pure heart a few faces go through my mind- all quiet, yet strong in their conviction. When I am around these people I feel instantly safe and secure.
My sister is a pure hearted person and as such she believes in the good of others. She is more trusting then most people today are. I know she wouldn't pick up a hitch hiker, or anything like that...but she sees those in need before most of us.
Hub on the other hand is a strong minded- yet pure hearted person too. He is not content to live in this world and meet only his and his families needs. He believes all of us need to be tapped into the community we live in and help with a willing heart.
Although my Hub is pure of heart he is not convinced that anyone else is...and he puts on this outer shell so that the rest of the world does not see his soft side.
My sis does not do that...she leaves herself open- purely.
I am so lucky to have these pure of heart people around me.
Taa taa for now
Kimmy.
Also: said goodbye to another pound this week....hope to have a few more join that one soon!

GREAT expectations

The title of my blog today would make a great pregnancy book title....but alas that is not what I am writing about today. Phewff.
The picture I have attached to this blog is a print that Hub gave me when our son was about 6 months old. We had some great expectations of that little boy, and for the most part he has met those expectations, but realistically there was no way anyone could meet all of our expectations. When we learned that he had a disease our expectations changed. It seemed for us that our expectations all came crashing down, so we adopted the philosophy of not expecting anything good to happen. I know that does not sound like a sound healthy belief...but I am sure many parents who have children with illness will describe this feeling. Once our son noticed our change in expectations he was pretty vocal about it. His words were pretty strong for such a young fellow, but he told us that if we were giving up on him then he was quitting too. This was not an option, obviously, so we all learned together that expectations change but they can remain great.
Last night we had our parent teacher interviews with him. Highschool teachers talk alot about expectations. Our son was not meeting alot of the expectations and Hub is quite frustrated about this. Although academically he is not achieving what his potential is, I was encouraged to learn that as a student he exceeded their expectations. He is polite, courteous, quiet and answers questions when needed.
He can do better- but he needs to expect this of himself...all I expected was achieved.
What does our Father expect from us? Set your own expectations high and you will succeed some of the time and you will fail other times. God does not want us to be afraid of failure...

Psalm 46
For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A song. [a]
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah
8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields [b] with fire.
10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

Taa Taa for now
Kimmy

Words of Bitterness

My daily morning exercise led me directly to this verse....hmm I guess I do not need to wonder what the Lord is asking me to discipline in my life. Read it for yourself:
Ephesians 4:25- 32 says:
25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin"[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Fault is all around us. We really don't need to look very far to see it in ourselves or in others. Having said that....good things are there too. For lent I had to give up words of bitterness....and I really did struggle with this...as did my friend. We tended to have quiter walks- until we started using words of kindness and uplifting words of those that we spoke of. Praising others around you can be very rewarding and positive. Some of the most frustrating moments of having teenagers can really get a parent down...but when you are forced to see their positive qualities along with the negative everything can really be put into perspective.
When you choose to give up bitterness you will lose alot of the weight that goes with it. It is much easier to forget the wrong doings when you have not spoken or dwelled on them...instead you gave them over for positive thoughts and actions.
Take a breath and breath in the positive air around you...when frustration comes your way- don't react just smile. The first time it will be a fake smile...the second time it will be a forced smile and by the third time you won't even realize you are smiling!
Taa taa for now
Kimmy
On the other note...Wii Fit says I lost 3 lbs already!! woo hoo!!

My life with Lettuce

My D I E T begins today. Dont' worry this blog is not gonna turn into the Oprah diet turmoils blog...just part of my life that I would like to see more discipline in. Much like lent (which ended just in time for me to no longer have chips) I will be mentioning my progress to keep me accountable.
For a person who loves control I certainly do loose control around the buffet table. I need to excercise control in so many areas of my life and I am starting today. I want what everyone wants....a balanced life. The only problem is that no one told us how much work that would take!
I can become obsessive about things I want to control...so I have decided to take small measures of control and be patient with the results.
I am no different then the person who smokes a pack a day of cigarettes...making the decision to quit is always the first step...acceptance of that decision from yourself and others is the hardest step.
I have decided to eat like my body is a temple...eat when I am hungry and to excercise once a day.
I am on a spiritual diet too. Over the winter months the busy hectic schedules of the kiddos sports have kept us away for our house of worship...and I feel the burden of the extra pounds from that too. I am going to excercise my spritual life every morning with my coffee and my physical life every evening with my Hub and Kiddos.
Let's see a happier healthier me.
Taa taa for now!
Kimmy

It is well....

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
This song was very powerful to me as a child, adolescent, teenager, adult, mother and wife. I can hardly ever sing it without welling up with tears. Imagine the verse:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
What ever my lot??? Really? Will I always say it is well with my soul? I am not talking about the fake smile that we wear sometimes...I am talking about the true knowledge that God is in control and it is well. Does it mean that all will go well...and according to OUR plan...no. It means it is all in God's plan and God's time and we put our trust and faith in Him alone. It is well...
I lived this a few times, as I am sure many of you have. I will just share one such time in this blog. It was perhaps the most frantic of times in our lives as a young family.
Hub was deployed to Bosnia for 7 months. I as a mommy was barely keeping my head above water but through prayer and support really was getting through. We were having a few problems with our son...apparently behavioural problems...
We were asking for prayer for him and our family nonstop-knowing this was all in God's plan was a comfort to me. We believed it could have been depression because even his favorite things were no longer of interest to him. Eventually we found a sport that he was really optimistic about and excited to start- triathlons...he was a natural at this. Although it meant early mornings and long hours of training we were both very excited to do this training together. Things were definitely looking up for our family and I was excited to surpass another hurdle in a military family life.
Things changed rapidly on a late afternoon trip to the grocery store. I had all of the kiddos excitedly helping me gather our groceries for the week. The kiddos had alot of energy and were not using this energy to it's better purpose. At one such time I scolded them and told them they should not be touching plants and they could be allergic. My son turned a horrible elephant grey color and slumped down onto the floor. He was still fully conscious...but breathing heavy and sweating. Anxiety attack...of course. It made sense that he would have anxiety and depression...so we were not over the worst of his depression yet. I calmed him, asked him to take deep breathes and we finished our shopping and headed home. I did not think too much about this and wasn't sure I should mention the incident to Hub...so I didn't.
Two days later the sitter called me at work...my son would not move...he was conscious...but sweating and could not swallow well. Another anxiety attack.
By the time he had is third attack it was the weekend before his big triathlon, I decided we needed to get this looked at and took him directly to our local children's hospital. I told them what my diagnosis was and they agreed. I felt an unexplainable urge to ask them to look at my son's heart. The resident looked at me as if I was a hypercondriact- which I was willing to bear the label.
The ECG was normal, I was told- so I asked to look at it myself. Not normal...not even close. I asked for a copy- not sure where all my confidence was coming from. I took this copy to two good friends...one a cardiologist the other a shrink....told them both the story and they both said he needed a second opinion. Thankfully the hospital decided that he needed another opinion too and they called him back- only to quickly find out that my son had a life threatening heart condition. He did not have anxiety from depression but from the fact that his heart was constantly racing around 300 beats a minute...where yours and mine would be going at 80.
Now the job came for me to inform my Hub and get him home, because we were being transported to another children's hospital 5 hours away for treatment.
This is the day my prayer life became my life. Mothers who will get on their knees for their children have the most passionate cries to their heavenly father. While the whirlwind of having Hub flown home and finding a place for my other children took over- the fear of loosing a child was very real. I remember exactly where I was when I felt...it was well...with my soul.
We had no answers...but the peace that went through my body was palpable. It was well with my soul. I was still crying and fearful of the worst...but I was upright and on my knees....I was talking to a friend (my saviour) who sacrificed His son for me...the Lord heard my cries...He felt my pain. I stopped asking questions and started feeling again. Some days I felt joy for the small blessings, others I felt fear...but I did not feel alone.
Here we are almost 8 years later...every day a gift from God. I usually need frequent reminders of this gift :o)...being as I am human and all...
It is well...with my soul.
Taa taa for now
Kimmy

Finish

Here is another wierd thing about me. Most won't be surprised to know that I do not like to finish things. Becci had my number within a week of knowing me. On two seperate games nights we were partaking of some coffee and dessert. The second night she is clearing my cup and plate and says, HUH...
What?
Well have you ever noticed that you don't finish your coffee or dessert? she says.
Umm...no...no I didn't. I mean...no I don't do that...I finish them most times.
Ok, but you haven't the last two times we have had coffee and dessert.
Hmmm...I don't think I do.
So you know where this is going....turns out she was correct...I do not finish my coffee or dessert. I am not a finisher. I am a starter. I love to start things...I am not fond of finishing them. I finish races...but I hate that. I love all the time spent training for races but I am terribly disappointed with finishing them.
When chapters of our lives finish I tend to get a bit sad and reflect on how we could do it better. I usually need to convince myself to look on the bright side and see the positive on what is new and upcoming.
Becci likes to anaylyze why I won't finish my dessert...but she cannot figure out why I don't finish the coffee. I really have no clue for either.
Certain things, though, I love to finish. I love baking and cooking- so preparing, making and finishing a meal brings me great joy. I am good at this and so I like having it finished.
Finishing other projects, like essays and reports does not bring me joy. Most would feel the sense of accomplishment, whereas I feel the sense of things could be done better. If only there were more time to put better work into it or more research. Once I finish a project and look back at it I become so critical of how I could have done it better.
I think of how Jesus was hanging on the cross. He asked for a drink because His flesh was thirsty and then took the sip and said, "It is finished". He was confident up to his death. He knew His work was done and done right.
I need to have the confidence to finish things...see them through the tough spots and cross the finish line with joy.
Lent update: Still going strong! No Chips and No Bitterness... Bad news is I replaced them both with ice cream :o)
Taa taa for now
Kimmy

let it go..

Letting go of a little can help you experience some of the greatest joy. As you know I was challenged to let go of bitterness during lent. Well we are 2 weeks into this challenge and the feeling is amazing. I have certainly have had my challenges during these weeks and wanted to not only feel bitter but to be bitter. Being bitter is contagious...if someone is bitter around you it cannot really be helped to be bitter with them. I fall victim to this all to well and sometimes I will crave being around these people. Sometimes the bitterness is building up and I wanna be around somebody who can relate and feed the bitterness. I am probably the only person like this and I really can't say that many of my friends are the same...but they are so kind and generous to allow me to vent. But my bestest friends...well they will tell me the truth and just say...let it go Kim. Strong people will always use strong words and loving people will not allow you to drown in your bitterness. Bitter people are not fun to be around and they do not usually enjoy themselves day to day.
Let it go... How does one do that? Well back to my new hero the curling skip who won silver...she did not grieve over the loss of the gold but instead told her team to remember that the sun will come up again tomorrow and give us a new day full of new possibilities. That is true. Once I started letting go of the bitterness I began to enjoy some of the simple things that I had completely taken for granted. I have also had alot to be thankful for...Hub is moving home after 3 years...which is incredibly exciting. The biggest joys I have had over this is the time we have had to plan what the future looks like with all of us living together. We enjoyed having some friends over and during one of our dinner parties Hub shared his plan to have a vegetable garden this year. I cannot remember being ever so excited. I know what you are thinking...wow..a garden. Somehow in my weirdo bird nerd brain of mine ( I love birds..ok I admit it) the joy of growing our own garden together made me well up with tears. Once I was able to let go of the bitterness there was more room in my life for the joy of everyday.
So if you can...and I know you can...let it go. Don't dwell on it...deal with it...pray on it and give mercy.
Taa taa for now!
Kimmy

contentment

This photo was taken by my ever talented Hub. Looking at it makes me feel content, which says alot because I am hardly ever content. I know what it is to be content...I just do not have the capability of accessing that feeling all the time.
My Hub is content most of the time and I am always in awe of his ability to feel totally content even with very little. My children come in every shape of it...the first is content 80% of the time, the second is content 99.9% of the time and the third...well she is the image of myself...content 10% of the time.
Sometimes I justify my lack of content and say that I have a competitive nature...so I am always striving towards new goals, which is fine....but how do I actually feel when I achieve my goals? Well I rarely spend much time feeling anything...I go on to set the next goal.
Now, I am not saying that goals are NOT good, or that I am a huge supporter of complacency. It is all about taking stalk of what you have, where you are going and where you are. I am sure our Olympic women's curling team would have LOVED to have been Gold medal winners...but they are silver medal winners. I wonder if they have had the chance to feel contentment with this? To be 43 and win an Olympic silver medal...or to even go to the Olympics and compete is an amazing accomplishment, isn't it? How many of us would have been content with that? I know you go there to win the gold and hear your national anthem...but once you realize that is not what happened can you find the contentment of what life has given you?
Paul states, "For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Phil 4 :11.
I am sure in many people's lives this looks easy, but no one can say that Paul had an easy go of it, yet he learned to be content.
As Christians we need to be content in knowing that God's hand is in all things. I want...more than any other want...for there to be a cure for Colton's heart. I have had times when this desire has driven me to late night searches of physicians who will offer the latest treatment. I have lost sleep and had arguments with those that love me about the lengths I am willing to go to to achieve this. In the end- once I check in with my almighty Life Coach (God)- I place this desire back into His loving hands and know ...yes I know....that He is taking care of me.
I have also suffered from materialistic wants too. I am hoping someone out there can relate to this...cuz most of my bestest friends and my Hub do not seem to be inflicted by this desire. Most have learned to be content in what they have and to set reasonable goals for themselves. I have always surrounded myself with these types of people so that I will always be reminded of the important things.
This summer I had an opportunity to visit one of my bestest friends in beautiful Kelowna. She has always been a beautiful content person- even when we were 18. When we met up she had just moved to this new town far from her friends, family and no hope of getting a job. She had already had her house robbed- a story she only recalls when we asked what is up with the video surveillance at her house. Yet she greeted us with wide open arms and was enthusiastic to hear of our adventures.
She has never been one to focus on the negative, instead she invites us to sit in her back yard and have a glass of wine as we over look the mountain view. She tells me how they harvested some popcorn this year. I asked her how much....she said enough for one large bowl for all of us to share. Wasn't that alot of work for one bowl? Not to her...to her that was a small success that they shared as a family. She has had disappointments, but these do not consume her and they will not deter her. Sure she wants and needs a job, but she has been patient in knowing it will all come in time and has taken this time off to do things she would otherwise not be able to.
That is just one of my friends...Char, Louise, Becci and Claudia all have likewise shown what it means to just be content in what you have. I feel so blessed to have them in my life to remind me of the little things that can bring contentment. I am especially content when I spend time with my friends, my Hub, my children and my God!
Taa taa for now!
Kimmy

Devotion

Like many people in the world, I am mesmerized by the Olympics. For every gold medal we win and each one we ALMOST win it makes me wonder: what does it take to win gold? Perseverance, dedication, talent, support and devotion. Perhaps the last word, devotion, is the most needed element. I have had the opportunity to see many athletes who were talented but just could not devote the amount of time and energy needed to make it in their sport.
As I spent my time driving back and forth to rinks at all hours for my son's curling regionals I couldn't stop thinking about the level of devotion that our team has needed just to get to the regionals. Next weekend it will be the girls that we are driving out of town for their curling events. For Colton's team to get to the regionals they started planning last year at this time. Devotion. They devoted their time and energy and commitment to each other as a team. They did not win, yet they remain devoted. They suffered a humiliating loss and when they got off the ice they immediately talked about their plans for next year. They will stick together as a team because they are devoted.
This made me think of what have I devoted my life too. I am reminded of the song by the Newsboys, All my devotion- I give it to you.
If this weekend can be an example of what I give my devotion to- it would be my family. I now this sounds wonderful...but what about my saviour? How much time did I devote to Him? This weekend was curling and parent council meetings and taking care of an injured child. I can honestly say, the only time I spent with God was when I was praying that Colton would make his shots. It is embarrassing to me that I am often stuck in this point of my life. Much like a lack of devotion will show up on the ice rink it will also show up in my life when I do not devote my life totally to God.
What would total devotion look like? Would it mean that I am in church 24/7? Or does it mean I pray about everything from what to wear to what to eat? Not quite. Devotion to God is getting to know Him so well that I would know His will in ALL situations. How will I know His will? The only way is to spend more time with Him and to read the Word. I will still need to pray for guidance, just like the elite athlete needs their coach.
If I take you back to the example of Colton's team, without proper communication and a good coach, this team would not be able to achieve their goals.

Could devotion to God earn me the gold medal? Just living my life for Him will get me to the Olympics of life(heaven) and the eventual gold medal, or shall I say the gold mansion?
Just because I did not spend my weekend in church or doing church activities should not mean that I do not spend my time with God. God is with me everywhere and I can take the time anywhere to devote to Him. I cannot even claim to have a reason not to read His word, afterall I have the Bible downloaded on my itouch.
I used to say that I needed a life coach just to keep my life on track, turns out I have a willing coach, I just need to be willing to spend time with Him and listen to the guidance that He gives.
That is what I am going to try this week. Devoting more of my time to Him and watching how this shapes my life.
Update on Lent...I did not know that Lent takes breaks on Sundays...so I still have had no chips and no bitterness. It feels great!
Taa Taa for now!
Kimmy

Saying thanks

I know it is not thanksgiving, but just like valentines I like to think that there are other days of the year we can talk about thankfulness and love. This blog will cover a bit of both today.
The majority of you already know about my crazy desire to make my kiddos fresh waffles with whipped cream every morning. Last week I noticed the waffles were not being eaten and ended up being thrown out after a few days. I hate waste, and I took that as a sign that they no longer were thrilled with the waffles, so I stopped making them. Once the kiddos found out that this was happening, there was a huge uproar at the house. They continue to want the waffles, it was just that I had added too much other choices and they could not eat as much waffles anymore. (I started cutting up fresh fruit...and had homemade cookies for afterschool)It was, however: unanimous that they wanted to still have waffles every morning.
So this week it started again. The girls scarfed down those waffles and barely left any for their brother who wakes up after they leave. By the time Colton had made it down to eat I was already gone off to get ready for a busy day. I heard something quite surprising from my bathroom as Colton was leaving- he said thanks mom!
The next morning this same scene was carried out with him coming up to me and saying thanks for the waffles mom. Thanks. It is one word that I don't think I hear enough. I know why too, I don't happen to use it enough. My other BFF Becci will tell you how often she needs to remind me to use my manners with my children. In my defense that is because she is in the throws of raising a smart 2 year old and teaching manners, whereas I am past that point and seem to have forgotten how to use mine anymore.
How incredibly sad. I don't know how to say thanks. I have known for awhile that I had a problem with saying thanks. I was in a bible study once that taught us how to pray, the first thing they said is to start with thank you Lord. I found this awkward because most of my conversations with God were about me. Things I wanted and things I didn't want. I learned how to say thank you to God when Colton was sick. At that moment in my life I realized how important each day was with your family, and I was thankful. I vowed not to take anything else in this world for granted. So when I start talking to God I start with, thank you. Thank you for my children, I could have been infertile, thank you for my husband- he truly loves me for who I am.
Here is a list that I use to guide me. Some days I have new things to add to the list, like thank you for a great doctor's appointment with the kids. Generally though it goes like this:
1. Thank you for dying for me (may I never take this for granted)
2. Thank you for giving me children ( may I remember they are a gift..even when...)
3. Thank you for my health (truly a gift)
4. Thank you for my Hub (another gift)
5. Thank you for my sister and her amazing daughter (I have learned so much about You through her)
6. Thank you for christian parents (the foundation that goes on)
7. Thank you for my friends (not to be taken for granted)
8. Thank you for my job (even when I am not so happy with it!)
9. Thank you for loving me (even when I am not too love able)
10. Thank you for my church (so blessed to live where I can worship openly)
11. Thank you for my Pastors (they have all blessed me- so please bless them too)
12. Thank you for understanding me when no one else can!
Last night when I got home there was a gift for me...my driveway was cleared. I went into the house and found my son and asked him if he had done that. Thank you, I said, and I meant it. What a blessing. I added that to my list of thank yous in my prayers.
So, when you have to do thank you notes or just have someone holding the door open, just remember that thank you goes a long long way!
Taa taa for now,
Kimmy

Following

First of all...I know Char I said I would talk about anger...but I just wasn't feeling it today. Trust me...there will be a blog on anger!!

I have a feeling this blog is gonna be a long one...so buckle up peeps and lets get it started. So, as you are aware...I am very new to blogging. When my Hub emailed me and said you have 3 followers I was a bit amazed at his ability to know this. For those of you who do not know him, my Hub is in intelligence and I always assume he is using some sort of special powers to find his information, but as he informs me he just looked at the side of my blog. Sure enough when I opened the blog there it was in bold letters...3 FOLLOWERS- YIKES! The excitement of that turned quickly into sheer panic...followers....to be a follower there needed to be a leader- who is leading them? I am NOT a leader.
OK before all of my friends out there start commenting- I know I am bossy, opinionated, stubborn and competitive, but trust me that does not make anyone a leader. I also enjoy having a wee bit of attention...which can be a dangerous combination with this leader thingy. So all of that combined, I started refreshing that page hourly, then half hourly- 5 followers, 6 followers...then nothing. Sigh...six followers...that is not much. So the competitive side of me started- I looked at other blogs to see how many followers they had. Just remember only hours ago I did not even know what a follower was. Then came a mystery follower- I still don't know who you are...but man I am curious. Follower number 7 came and we are now stuck there. My kiddos started asking about my blog- so I showed them and immediately demanded that they clicked on becoming a follower- just to bolster my numbers.
Maybe you are getting the picture for why I am not a leader. Unfortunately those qualities do not make me a good follower either. With all those qualities I usually think I could do things better- even when the leader is Christ- I know I know...but I am being honest with you here. When my son was diagnosed with this crazy rare fatal disease- well I tried to find the other way- maybe every doctor made a mistake. The one thing I can tell you I am getting better at is surrendering to what I can no longer control, and you know what...that is something. To be a follower you have to be able to trust the leader you are following. This can be more challenging as the leader brings you places you are no longer comfortable going. It is at these points many will choose to stop following. Trust and faith is following even when you are not really sure what the outcome is, but you know that your leader loves you and will not harm you.
Another reason I am not a great leader-I am a wee bit directionally challenged. Yesterday on a walk with my coworkers I naturally took the lead on the narrow path. I was walking confidently along when I heard from the distance someone calling my name- when I looked up I realized I was leading us directly into the creek. So to be a leader you need to look ahead of you not just the first few steps. I have a fear of looking too far ahead- it is not bringing us where I wanted us to be.
My Hub is a natural leader, and rather generously allows me to take chances at leading. My children certainly feel more comfortable when my Hub is in the drivers seat- literally. Once when Hub was leaving for a long mission overseas we were dropping him off at the airport. After a long and painful goodbye at the airport it was time to take the long trip home with the kiddos. I remember they were really young and it meant I had to place each one into a car seat and buckle them before I got my emotionally weary body into the drivers seat. I started up the van and took a look into the rear view mirror to back up- but all I could see was a very scared looking little boy in the back seat. I immediately knew he was afraid for his daddy's safety and started to comfort him by telling him that Jesus would protect his daddy. So he says...and Jesus will protect us right mommy? Cuz I was just thinking, how are we gonna get home without daddy to drive? Out of the mouths of babes....
As it turns out my son became very trusting of my abilities during his daddy's absences. Most of the time he was my greatest cheerleader. When he would see that the world had dealt me just a little too much of life he would try his best to solve the problem, help me or gently ask me if I wanted to talk to daddy. My son was a great follower- he really helped keep this leader on the right track.
When I think of leaders in our church I wonder if I am being as good of a follower as I could be? Am I there greatest cheerleaders telling them they can do it and offering them help? Unfortunately, I am often more critical than needed and do not offer myself humbly to be led. I would have never made it if my son always pointed out my flaws- instead he would say to me maybe next time it will work- or did you try this, but the best part was always, maybe you should talk to daddy. As long as our church leaders are talking to the Father then we need to trust them and be their cheerleaders. Sometimes, when my son thought I did not quite tell daddy everything, he would talk to daddy about some of my concerns...that truly amazed me. We can do the same- go to our Father on behalf of our leaders and ask for them to have all the help they need.
So, I guess whether you are the follower or the leader in each and every situation there is an important role to be done.
taa taa for now my friends!
Kimmy

Being Used

Needed, what does it really mean? For that matter what does it mean to be used? Well being a mommy and being a parent can teach you a bit about both.

I remember my first real lesson in this came when my son was nursing nonstop all of a sudden. He was six months old and this was unusual so when I asked for advice from my fellow mommies the resounding answer was he was USING me as a soother. Using me? How could a six month old use me? I was exhausted and in no mood to be used...so I started to take action when I noticed him doing this again I would give him a soother. It worked, but at what cost? I mean was he using me...or did he need me? Did he need to be soothed and I gave him an artificial soother? I don't know why I thought at that moment that being used was such a negative thing. Why would I think that a six month old could know of anything but what he needed.

I am sure I did no harm to him by giving him a soother, but why couldn't I soothe him? I was afraid of being used.

I am at a different stage in life now...I crave to be used...it makes me feel needed.

So, it ended up that I could not keep giving him the artificial soothers and felt better to soothe my son myself. That time of my life went by so quickly and at the ages and stages my children are at now they do not need me as much....or do they? Could all their requests and demands actually be a form of need? Some requests are obvious. When they want me to come shopping it is so that I can pay.

Other requests are not as obvious and would seem to be a situation where my children are using me...or am I needed? When I miss cooking them breakfast one morning I will hear about it for the next few days. Obviously they can make their own breakfast...so they are being lazy? Or is it that they are needing the same thing I need from those breakfasts together? Those mornings are really magical for me, I need them as much as they do.

Camille comes down first, the quiet one, and starts eating. After a few bites she starts talking. She shares alot during those early mornings. In a few moments Calissa wanders down, tired but excited for her day ahead. She is normally talkative, but at this time she is listening to her sister and talking with her. It is so beautiful. I start sipping my coffee and send them off to school. As soon as the door closes as they rush to catch their bus, their brother joins me in the kitchen. Colton is every bit of 15 and talking is not high on his priority. When he sits at the island to start eating his waffle, most of the communication is grunts and one word answers. By the time he has had his third bite it starts, that amazing personality that he has starts to glow. So who is using who? If you can see what I gain from those few moments, you know that I am definitely the person using them...but it is because I love them and crave what I can see them grow into.

I wonder if God is using me? Better yet,will God use me? The times when I am being used by God are the best times of my life. When I take time and converse with Him and can actually be used by Him, that is when my purpose is truly fulfilled. Maybe I will not like being used at first...but I hope I always know that I am being used for a greater purpose.

To update you: Day two of Lent and my walking buddy and I had the greatest walk yet...we encouraged each other and spoke of great people in our lives and highlighted the best parts of our days. Those parts of our days that often get overlooked by the negative things that are happening.

I have not had any chips...but wonder if I am allowed to have Crispers...my gut tells me that I cannot.

Taa taa for now friends!

Kimmy

Lent...

Maybe I should be introducing myself and telling you how I got started on this blog thingy...but not on this my first blog...sorry that would just be to expected...and I am not one to be expected! I am sure you will come to find that out.

Okay, changed my mind...here is a brief intro... So, to start with I am a mommy to three wonderful children...well sometimes they are wonderful, other times they are teenagers and preteens...so you can not really blame them. I am married to a terrific guy, well most times he is terrific, but other times he is a middle aged guy who is in the military (and loves the military) so...you cannot really blame him for not being perfect all the time. Me...I am terrific. Well okay, I am a middle aged woman who changes her mind and goals almost daily, and yes I expect my hubby and children to keep up with these changes.

My faith is my life. That is the essence of what I will write. I love a saviour who died for me and all those who can believe. That is it in a nutshell...if He can Love me...then well loving you is easy...trust me!
So onto today's blog...Lent.
My best friend walking buddy is an awesome Catholic girl, and I am not Catholic. We really love to explore the differences of our religions and sometimes are not quite sure what the differences are...I like to believe my religion is "on the right track" and she just believes. What a concept...and that is what I just love about her.

On our walk yesterday,from which she dragged me away from watching the Olympics, we discussed Lent. "Do you guys do Lent?" she asks.
Umm, well not really. What I mean is we don't give up something for just 40 days, we are asked to give up something for our lifetime for Christ. ( I really thought this was a terrific answer!)
Hmmm...she replied in a really thoughtful non judgemental way.
Then I got to thinking...what have I given up for Christ really?
So I asked her what she was giving up...she said Chips...and bitterness.
Oh....
You see her and I have alot of good reasons to be bitter...we really do, and our walks become alot more active the more we talk about our bitterness. So for 40 days we are only going to look at the bright side of things. This should be interesting.
So what have I given up for Christ? In this fast pace world that I take part of everyday...well what sacrifices have I made for Christ.
So I decided to participate in Lent with her...I am giving up chips for 40 days (ok and I am letting go of bitterness). No, I am not Catholic, and No, I don't think this will get me to heaven....but I do think this has the possibility of making me a better follower of Christ.
Who knows...maybe I will loose weight- pounds and burdens!
Taa taa for now my friends...
Kimmy

Lent...

Maybe I should be introducing myself and telling you how I got started on this blog thingy...but not on this my first blog...sorry that would just be to expected...and I am not one to be expected! I am sure you will come to find that out.

Okay, changed my mind...here is a brief intro...

So, to start with I am a mommy to three wonderful children...well sometimes they are wonderful, other times they are teenagers and preteens...so you can not really blame them. I am married to a terrific guy, well most times he is terrific, but other times he is a middle aged guy who is in the military (and loves the military) so...you cannot really blame him for not being perfect all the time. Me...I am terrific. Well okay, I am a middle aged woman who changes her mind and goals almost daily, and yes I expect my hubby and children to keep up with these changes.

My faith is my life. That is the essence of what I will write. I love a saviour who died for me and all those who can believe. That is it in a nutshell...if He can Love me...then well loving you is easy...trust me!